1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,640 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:07,000 Dingy castles, daring knights 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,800 Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians 4 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,200 Punishment from ancient times 5 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:13,680 6 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,280 fierce and toothless 7 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,040 Mean and measly Middle Ages 8 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,760 9 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,280 10 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,240 11 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:27,520 12 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:31,920 13 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,400 Horrible Histories presents... 14 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,720 This summer, Brothers Grimm Musicals presents 15 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:43,680 your favourite fairy tales as they were originally written. 16 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:44,720 Including... 17 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,360 BIRDS TWITTER 18 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:47,960 HUNTSMAN HUMS A TUNE 19 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,720 Ah! Huntsman! 20 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,280 Hey, she 21 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,680 22 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,160 it'll be no fun 23 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,720 eats your liver and your lungs. 24 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,360 Wait, what?! That's right. 25 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:03,840 Just like in the original book, 26 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:07,360 this queen wants to eat Snow White's lungs and her liver. 27 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,880 Uh...this is a family film, right? 28 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:13,640 Yeah... I mean, the stories do still have happy endings, 29 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:17,840 like when Snow White gets the better of the evil queen! 30 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,200 31 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,560 32 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,640 33 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,120 until I'm dead 34 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,120 35 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,680 36 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:36,360 dancing, dancing till I'm dead! 37 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:37,840 Right, are we...are we totally sure 38 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,560 these are the right vibes for a musical? 39 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,600 Can we please not have a debate about this?! 40 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,840 My feet are on fire! Ow! 41 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,840 And next year, Brothers Grimm Musicals presents... 42 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,000 ..Cinderella! 43 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,160 Oh, well, at least you can't go wrong with that! 44 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,720 Um...sure, if you say so. 45 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:58,960 will fit this slipper 46 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:04,480 47 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:08,480 48 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:15,880 49 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,440 RECORD SCRATCH Foot first! 50 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,760 Featuring The Ugly Stepsisters. 51 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,360 cut off our heels 52 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:23,640 53 00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:25,880 54 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,080 55 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,320 56 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,880 57 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:37,440 gorily, bloodily, gorily grim. 58 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,880 I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life. 59 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,200 sleep because of the cries 60 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,480 peck out our eyes... 61 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,600 Whoa. Too much. Too much. CROW CAWS 62 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,920 63 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:53,280 The Brothers Grimm Musicals based on their original book of fairy tales... 64 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:57,880 Fairy tales?! 65 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:00,280 More like scary tales! 66 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,440 RATTUS LAUGHS 67 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:06,800 Anyway, I'm trying to decide on my World Book Day outfit. Shh! 68 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,440 Ah! What are the chances? 69 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:13,600 It's comedian and author of the brilliant Amazing Edie Eckhart books, 70 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,640 Rosie Jones! 71 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:16,920 Yes... 72 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:20,240 ..and I'm trying to read! 73 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,480 Not any more! 74 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,440 I've come here to the library for some outfit inspo, 75 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,680 and you're going to help me! 76 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:28,560 I'm busy! 77 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,560 I can give you half a chocolate bar. 78 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,720 I'm in! 79 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:32,800 Brilliant. 80 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,600 What do you think of this one? HE GRUNTS 81 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,800 Ta-da! 82 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,240 A rat with some big ears? 83 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,480 I'm Peter Rat-bit! 84 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,520 Obviously. 85 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:48,720 Well, once you know how Beatrix Potter 86 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:54,400 learned how to draw the animals in her books, 87 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:59,040 you might want to wear something else. 88 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,440 Ooh... 89 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,040 Ah! Oh, stop pulling, you naughty little sausage. 90 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,480 Oh, my gosh, I think that's Beatrix Potter. Ah! 91 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,880 Oh... 92 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,040 Excuse me. SHE LAUGHS 93 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:14,160 We're such big fans of Peter Rabbit and Benjamin Bunny. 94 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,120 They're so cute! 95 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,880 And the drawings are just so accurate - 96 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,200 you really made us believe that a rabbit could wear clothes. 97 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,120 Oh, well, I do love animals. 98 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,800 I'm an award-winning sheep farmer. 99 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,160 SHE GASPS Little baa-lambs. 100 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,200 So cute! 101 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,160 I don't suppose I could get you to sign one of your books, could I? 102 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,560 Oh, if you've got a copy of Benjamin Bunny there, 103 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:33,920 he can sign it for you himself. 104 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,440 Oh, my goodness! 105 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,560 Is that the real-life Benjamin Bunny? 106 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:40,560 And you take him for walks on a little lead. 107 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:44,480 Oh, he's so adorable. Yes, Benjamin is such a good bun-bun. 108 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,640 BEATRIX LAUGHS You let me draw you for my books, 109 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:47,680 don't you? 110 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,400 BOTH: Aw! 111 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,960 When I first got paid for my books, 112 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,760 I bought him lots and lots of treats to say thank you, 113 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:57,720 and the silly billy gobbled them all up and made himself poorly. 114 00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,840 BOTH: Aw! 115 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:01,280 Yes, luckily he got better, 116 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,880 so I didn't have to cut him up like all the other rabbits. 117 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,040 Aw! SHE LAUGHS 118 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,160 What? Well, of course I get the accuracy of my lovely drawings 119 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:12,160 by peeling off the skin of dead wild rabbits with my big knife. 120 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,200 Don't I, Benj? 121 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,880 You skin all the little rabbits?! 122 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,760 Well, I have to study their anatomy 123 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,200 in order for the illustrations to be accurate. 124 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,480 And then of course I boil off their flesh... 125 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:22,840 HE GROANS ..so I can study their 126 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:24,600 wittle wabbity skeletons. 127 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,560 Anyway... SHE LAUGHS 128 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,080 ..we probably shouldn't keep you. 129 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,520 Oh. Run for it, Benji! Run for the hills! 130 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:31,560 For the hills? 131 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,840 Oh, that's a wonderful idea. 132 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:36,040 There'll be lots more bunnies for us to study there. 133 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:37,560 Won't there, Benjamin? 134 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:39,880 Thank you. 135 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,080 Goodbye. 136 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,920 WHISPERS: I guess it's like they say... 137 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:45,960 ..never meet your heroes. 138 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,480 Yeah. 139 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,160 ROALD LAUGHS 140 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,960 Oh, hello. It's me, Roald Dahl. 141 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,400 I'm here writing another of those... 142 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,320 ..phizz-whizzing books you love so much, 143 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,760 full of fun words I made up that make you churgle. 144 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:02,800 Now, you know, when I was a boy I loved reading Beatrix Potter. 145 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,120 I thought her books were... 146 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,400 I even met her once. 147 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,360 It was when I was a jumpsy six-year-old, 148 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,640 and she said something to me that I always remembered. 149 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,080 But what did she say? 150 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,920 Did she say, A, "Follow your dreams, young man," 151 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,880 B, "Always write what you know," 152 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,720 or C, "Buzz off"? 153 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,640 Well, the answer is C. 154 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,000 I said I'd come to meet Beatrix Potter and she said, 155 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,240 "Well, you've seen her now. 156 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,480 "Buzz off!" 157 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,080 I felt quite biffsquiggled. 158 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:34,880 She wrote razztwizzling books, 159 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,640 but if you met her on the wrong day, 160 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:39,080 she could be a fizzwiggling frumpet! 161 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,120 Know what I mean? 162 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,840 Halla, Tove Jansson here, 163 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,560 creator of The Moomins. 164 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:50,880 Mythical creatures that I was inspired to invent as a child 165 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,640 after a huge row with my idiot brothers. 166 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,000 I was so angry, 167 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,160 I decided to draw the ugliest thing I could think of... 168 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,480 ..right on the toilet wall. 169 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,840 SHE GROANS AND TRUMPS, WATER SPLOSHES 170 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,360 Don't you write on toilet walls, though. 171 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,800 Even if you are inspired to create characters 172 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,720 who are loved all around the world. 173 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,000 SHE TRUMPS Much better to... 174 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,520 ..carry a notepad with you. 175 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:17,240 So, when inspiration strikes, you can draw in that instead 176 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,240 and you won't get into trouble. 177 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:20,280 SHE TRUMPS AND GROANS 178 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,760 I think I'm having another great idea now. 179 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:23,800 SHE TRUMPS AND GROANS 180 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:24,880 WATER SPLOSHES 181 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:28,720 And of course the paper may come in handy when you're in the toilet. 182 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,480 It can be a bit scratchy though. 183 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,280 One great place to get books from is a library. 184 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:42,080 Your school might have one, 185 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,640 and maybe books aren't the only thing you can find there 186 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,320 if you look hard enough. 187 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:47,960 Author Charles Dickens... 188 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,920 Please, sir, can I have some more of his books? 189 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:56,040 ..actually has a special secret door built into a bookcase in his home. 190 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,200 Shush! This is a library! 191 00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,360 Excuse me? 192 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:00,600 I'm the Queen! 193 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,800 Ooh. Um...shush, Your Majesty? 194 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,640 Better. Honestly! 195 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,240 Some people. 196 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,840 And in here is my secret room. 197 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,160 In an act of perfect cunning 198 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:15,840 I've hidden the door behind a bookcase filled with fake books. 199 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,880 These are all fake? Fake and hilarious. Look... 200 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,680 ..I've given them all funny titles. 201 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,280 Life andamp; Letters of the Learned Pig. CHARLES LAUGHS 202 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,600 Hoyle on the Turnip! THEY LAUGH 203 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,000 That sounds quite good actually, can I borrow it? 204 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,960 No, as I said, they're fake books. 205 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,840 Yes, you did say that. Yeah...yeah. THEY LAUGH 206 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:32,920 Cat's Lives... 207 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,400 ..in nine volumes! THEY LAUGH HYSTERICALLY 208 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,360 LAUGHING: Because of the cat! 209 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,320 A Carpenter's Bench of Bishops! HE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY 210 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,760 I've actually read that one! 211 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,160 No, you can't have - they're fake books! 212 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,960 Are you sure? They're all invented... 213 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,560 ..by me. I get it. 214 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,760 Some of these are quite funny, actually. 215 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,080 "Great Expectations." Ha...OK. 216 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,280 "Bleak House," I mean, what is that?! 217 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,360 Just a book about sort of a house that's really boring 218 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,680 because there's nothing in it?! 219 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:57,840 HE LAUGHS They're real books. 220 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,720 "A Christmas Carol"?! OK. 221 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,080 What's that, just a book about this woman called Carol 222 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:03,720 who just likes Christmas?! 223 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,880 That's so silly! These are my books. 224 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:07,160 I wrote them. 225 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,840 "Nicholas Nickleby"! 226 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,840 Now that, I can see exactly what you've done there. 227 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:11,880 What? 228 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,800 "Nicholas" as in Knicker-ess"? 229 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,040 That's low-brow, I wouldn't do that. 230 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:17,200 "Oliver Twist"! 231 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,400 HE LAUGHS How'd you come up with this rubbish? 232 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,800 Honestly. Right, that's it! 233 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,560 Would you look at that over there? Oh, what? 234 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,440 Huh? 235 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,080 HE LAUGHS 236 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:28,880 Mr Dickens! 237 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,080 Hello?! HE LAUGHS 238 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,440 How'd you...how'd you open the secret door? 239 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:34,520 Charlie?! 240 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,880 Check me out now! 241 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:41,320 I'm Ratilda and I can move things with my mind, 242 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,120 just like in the book. RATILDA LAUGHS 243 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:46,840 How on earth are you doing that?! 244 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,400 Don't distract me, Rosie! 245 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,280 HE TRUMPS Oh! 246 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:52,400 Oh... 247 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,680 ..Rosie! 248 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:58,040 That wasn't me, that was you! 249 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:03,480 And you really shouldn't do that in the library. 250 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,480 It's a side-effect from all the concentration. 251 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:09,760 Anyway, did you know a lot of famous story writers 252 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:13,000 didn't just write amazing fiction stories, Rosie? 253 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,760 Some of them wrote nonfiction books too! 254 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:21,400 Yeah, but they weren't always as popular. 255 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,760 True. 256 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,560 Right, shall I try and float a spoon again? 257 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,040 RATILDA TRUMPS No. 258 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,120 HE SIGHS 259 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:34,920 Hello and welcome to our Gone Show World Book Day special. 260 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:37,800 I hope you're all dressed up as your favourite book characters at home. 261 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:38,840 I know I am. 262 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:40,960 THUNDER CRASHES, SINISTER ORGAN CHORD 263 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:42,680 Who are you? 264 00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:44,360 I'm Harry... 265 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,400 Never mind. 266 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,280 Who's your favourite character from a book, Guy? 267 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,680 Dracula! 268 00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:51,560 Why are you wearing a scarf inside? 269 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:56,480 Our first special World Book Day guest is the author of Dracula. 270 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:59,440 Victorian horror novelist, Bram Stoker. 271 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:00,600 Why's he dressed like that? 272 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:03,920 The vampires in my book, Dracula, didn't dress like that! 273 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,440 So, uh, Bram, you're here to tell us about your latest book. 274 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:10,360 Is it as spooky and fantastical as your last one? 275 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:14,960 No, actually it's a factual book about famous impostors... 276 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,600 ..like Queen Elizabeth I. 277 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,560 Ooh! How was she an impostor? 278 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:19,920 The Queen... 279 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,000 ..was a man! 280 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,880 Sorry... Yes, it's my firm belief that the real Queen Elizabeth 281 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,760 was swapped for a boy when she was a child. 282 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:29,800 Think about it - 283 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,400 why did Queen Elizabeth never have children? 284 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,200 Why did she wear all that make-up?! 285 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,240 Hmm?! 286 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,480 Um...because she was never married 287 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,440 and she wanted to cover up her smallpox scars? 288 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,200 No. Because she was a vampire! 289 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,480 No! And I'm not here to talk about Dracula. 290 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,400 If you're not going to take my nonfiction writing seriously, 291 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:49,760 I'm leaving! Right?! 292 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,320 OK. I'm going! 293 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,640 Sounds like someone woke up 294 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:54,800 on the wrong side of their coffin this morning. 295 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,720 You're still not allowed to talk about Dracula 296 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:58,440 even after I've stormed off! 297 00:11:58,440 --> 00:11:59,720 Shush! 298 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:05,600 Anyway, our next guest is another Victorian writer. 299 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,840 We might need a clue... 300 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,520 ..to detect where he is. 301 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,600 I hope he's in the studio... 302 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,840 ..and not at Holmes. 303 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:15,920 Yeah, well done, Guy. 304 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:18,440 It's Sherlock Holmes author, Arthur Conan Doyle. 305 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,920 I'm keen today to talk about my serious factual work, 306 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,720 so, um, please don't talk about Sherlock Holmes again. 307 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,280 OK? 308 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,840 GUY SIGHS Please tell us about your new 309 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,360 factual book, Mr Doyle. 310 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,000 It's about... 311 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,160 ..The Cottingley Fairies! The what? 312 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,040 Two young girls in Yorkshire 313 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:40,040 photographed real, actual fairies in their garden! 314 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:41,840 So, yeah, I wrote a book about them... 315 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,120 ..The Coming Of The Fairies! 316 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:45,840 Woo! Right... 317 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:49,240 And you're sure they didn't just cut out some pictures of fairies 318 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,400 and then photograph them in their garden for a laugh? 319 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:53,440 LAUGHING: No! 320 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,800 It's impossible. They've been checked by experts. 321 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,280 And the experts said they were real, did they? 322 00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,360 No. 323 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,560 One said they were fake, 324 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:03,400 but two, importantly... 325 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,000 ..weren't sure. 326 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,320 Which, now that I've said that out loud, it does sound bad. 327 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,880 Well, I congratulate you and Mr Stoker 328 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,560 on your very active imaginations. ARTHUR SIGHS 329 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,240 Oh, another walk-out. 330 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,080 It's a funny day when Guy's the most sensible person on the show. 331 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:19,400 Dumbledore! 332 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,440 Ay, yo... 333 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:26,000 ..welcome to Literary Rap Battle. 334 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,840 And tonight, laying down the tracks for the title... 335 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,960 ..is none other than MY GUY... 336 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:37,680 ..William "The Bard" Shakspeare-eare-eare-eare! 337 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:38,880 Eare-eare... 338 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,680 And bringing the rhyming challenge, 339 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:42,000 The Bible! The Bible?! 340 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,720 The King James Bible, represented by King James himself! 341 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:49,280 Er... MC KJ in the pa-lace! 342 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,800 Ay! Let's do this! 343 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,520 I ain't scared of you Stratford-upon-Avon gangstas! 344 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,680 Yeah, well, you didn't write The Bible. 345 00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,560 Hey! I paid for that translation. 346 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,600 My money, my Bible. 347 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,520 And it gave the English language way more phrases than your work did. 348 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:07,960 Wait...wait...there's only one way to settle this! 349 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,400 Oi, Your Majesty, 350 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,960 let's get it started! BEAT KICKS IN 351 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,680 352 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,520 353 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,840 Mister holier than thou 354 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:21,000 your mouth but I'd give up right now 355 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,560 an eye for an eyeful 356 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,920 Shakespeare's a trifle! 357 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,800 OH! HYPE MEN SHOUT 358 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,400 Oi, Shakespeare, 359 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,840 you just got dissed, player! 360 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:32,920 Come on! RECORD SCRATCH 361 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,920 Shakespeare's in the chair 362 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,080 363 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,760 364 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,200 365 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,240 366 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,720 smells like he farted 367 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,000 368 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,200 and I'm back where I started. 369 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:48,320 HE LAUGHS 370 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,560 Your Majesty... 371 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,560 ..you must be bare incensed! RECORD SCRATCH 372 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,680 you'll see 373 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,920 this baptism of fire 374 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,280 to my heart's desire 375 00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,800 376 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,120 377 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:04,560 spirit of the law they call Lord 378 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:05,960 379 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,120 and die by the sword 380 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,000 I am adored. 381 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,880 OH! HYPE MEN CHEER 382 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,320 Shakespeare...stay down! 383 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,280 All right. You're hurt! You're hurt! 384 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:19,080 385 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,160 386 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,600 387 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:22,840 388 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,280 and it's paradise 389 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,800 and that ain't nice... 390 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,640 Oh, oh, wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait, wait, wait... 391 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,840 I think we have a error. Yeah! I gotcha! 392 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,800 "Fly in the ointment." That's from the King James Bible, baby! 393 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,520 Check it! Check it! 394 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,360 Mm. Yeah... 395 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:41,400 Aw! 396 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,960 BELL DINGS, THEY GROAN IN CELEBRATION 397 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,160 King James wins... 398 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,120 ..by lyrical knockout! 399 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,840 Ooh, how the mighty have fallen! 400 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,440 That's one of mine. Another point for me. 401 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,920 Come on, guys, we don't need this. 402 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:53,360 Let's bounce! 403 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,440 As in let's leave. 404 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,520 BOTH: Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. 405 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:04,800 The Bible is one of the only books we Puritans really like. 406 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:09,520 Many Puritans like it so much they want to ban the other books. 407 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,480 And it's not just books they have a problem with. 408 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,160 some early Puritan settlers in America 409 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:18,720 decided that you could be arrested just for reading! 410 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:20,920 Especially if you're a woman! 411 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,680 SIRENS WAIL 412 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,440 Being in law enforcement in a new colony is tough. 413 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,920 The folks here in Massachusetts Bay are desperate. 414 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,080 It does not take much for them to turn to crime. 415 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,120 The number-one threat we're dealing with today is... 416 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,040 ARROW BOINGS 417 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,240 ..women reading. 418 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,320 That and the locals who don't want us here. 419 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:44,640 We've received intel 420 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,480 that there is a gang of women readers 421 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,640 operating from inside this house. 422 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,480 It looks just like an ordinary house. 423 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,040 It's not. 424 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,120 It's a book den. 425 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,720 Makes you sick! 426 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,760 Word is the leader's a woman called Anne Hutchinson. 427 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,960 Apparently she organised the book gang on the boat over from Europe. 428 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,920 Some of the women get in so deep... 429 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,680 ..their lips don't even move while they're reading. 430 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,400 If that's not witchcraft, what is? 431 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,240 The Puritan General Assembly here in the Massachusetts Bay Colony 432 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,800 have outlawed the book gang, and that's why we're here today. 433 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,840 We're hoping that the ringleader, Hutchinson, 434 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:18,960 will be in there herself, 435 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,880 teaching with her books. 436 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:22,600 Ha. Well, not on my watch. 437 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,000 They're going down. 438 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,200 You go in, I'll cover you. 439 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,240 Yeah. 440 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,920 And then in chapter five we see that... 441 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,240 Go, go, go, go! Oh! 442 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,520 This is a book raid! 443 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,320 Put the book down and step away! 444 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,440 But I'll lose my page! 445 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,600 STAMMERING: All right! Put a bookmark inside the book, 446 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,480 then put the book down, then step away! 447 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,120 We got a runner! 448 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,120 Stop in the name of the Puritan law! 449 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,520 Book launch! Argh! 450 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,120 Argh! I'm hit! 451 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,760 HE GROANS AND WHIMPERS 452 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,160 You're going to be OK, buddy. Argh... 453 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,640 ..I think it was a hardback. 454 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,320 The scars are just part of the job. 455 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:55,480 I mean, look at this one. 456 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:57,480 Paper cut. 457 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:58,560 I feel all cold. 458 00:17:58,560 --> 00:17:59,920 Hey, hey, hey, don't speak like that! 459 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:01,440 Look at me! Look at me! 460 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,360 It's a reminder of what we face out there every single day. 461 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:05,840 Officer Scratcher here... 462 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,880 ..is going to read you your rights. Hang on. 463 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,240 STAMMERING: Why am I going to read them? 464 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,400 Well, you've got the card, so... 465 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,440 Yeah, but... 466 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,680 ..I can't read, can I? Well, I can't read either. 467 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,440 What do you want me to do, just make it up? Uh, 'scuse me. 468 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,160 Mm? Would you like me to read the card for you? 469 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,080 You know, some of the days are hard, 470 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,240 but if we can do a little good here and there 471 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,640 like preventing women from reading, 472 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,200 then it'll all have been worthwhile. 473 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:34,280 "You..." I "..have the right to remain silent. 474 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,320 "Anything you..." I "..say, 475 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:40,320 "can and will be used against you." Me. 476 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,880 Oh, we really appreciate this. 477 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,360 Mm-hm. I mean, obviously we will have to add you reading this 478 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:45,800 to the list of charges, but... 479 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,400 ..Puritan law's the Puritan law. 480 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,640 Check out my latest Book Day outfit. 481 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,880 I'm Pooh! 482 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:58,880 Well, yeah, that does explain the smell. 483 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:01,320 What? No! I'm Winnie-the-Pooh! 484 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,200 Look, I've got a jar of honey! 485 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,720 I'm always playing Pooh sticks in the sewer. 486 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:09,800 You're throwing sticks in the sewer?! 487 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,440 Um, yeah... 488 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,720 ..they're not exactly sticks. 489 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,120 Aw, no! 490 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:21,680 Well, at least you've got a good taste in books. 491 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:22,760 Oh, yes! 492 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,280 I love getting my teeth into a good book. 493 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:26,400 CHOMP! 494 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:33,280 Yeah, well, get your teeth into your own book next time! 495 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:34,560 Sorry about that. 496 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,680 But I do love a good story, 497 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:40,840 and the more fantastic, the tastier, uh, better! 498 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:44,960 Some of the most famous tales feature in one collection of stories 499 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:48,000 that come from Middle Eastern folklore. 500 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,280 WINGS FLUTTER 501 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,240 Monsieur Diab, just the man I've been looking for. 502 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,040 Ah, Monsieur Galland, how is your translation 503 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,720 of One Thousand and One Arabian Nights coming along? 504 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:00,680 Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. 505 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,760 I have a slight problem. How is that possible? 506 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,720 It's such a rich and ancient collection 507 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,040 of Middle Eastern stories. 508 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,640 Oui, but the collection I'm translating isn't complete. 509 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,720 It doesn't have enough stories, 510 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,440 certainly not 1,001. 511 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:14,880 Uh, you're from Syria. 512 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:18,240 I don't suppose you know any other tales from home I can use? 513 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:22,160 Ooh, well, I suppose I could tell you the tale of Aladdin. 514 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,600 He was a poor boy in the Ottoman Empire. 515 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,800 "Aladdin was a poor boy in China." ALADDIN YELPS 516 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,000 China? No, no, I'm talking about the Middle East. 517 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,160 Yes, but a lot of my European readers 518 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,760 think that everywhere east of Greece is basically China. 519 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,720 ALADDIN GRUMBLES O-OK. 520 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:41,960 Trapped in a cave, Aladdin found a lamp containing a magical genie 521 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,440 who helped Aladdin become rich and powerful, 522 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,160 marrying the Sultan's daughter. 523 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,640 They were the toast of the bazaars of the caliphate. Mm. 524 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:53,120 Bazaars and caliphate sound a bit confusing for my audience. 525 00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:56,800 Uh, OK, well, I could always Frenchify it for you. 526 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,080 Let's say "palaces" and "markets". 527 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:00,840 In fact, imagine the thing is essentially set 528 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,360 at the Palace of Versailles. Happy? 529 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:05,720 So, an Ottoman princess is in a French palace 530 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,040 in a country I'm calling China. 531 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,240 I see no problem with that. 532 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,360 And I have plenty more stories where they came from. 533 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:14,840 Excellent! I need wild, adventurous stories! 534 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,720 Ooh, how about the tale of Ali Baba 535 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,960 who steals the treasure of forty thieves? 536 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,040 Open sesame. 537 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,680 Oh! Sounds brilliant! 538 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:26,080 This is the stuff I need to fill the holes in the book! 539 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,840 Real, authentic stories from China. 540 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,640 Syria. Ah, same thing. 541 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,000 Mm, it really isn't. Well, to my readers it is. 542 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,960 OK, anyway, happy to help! 543 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,840 I just hope we won't have to argue about which of our names 544 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,880 is biggest on the front cover of the book. 545 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,280 Don't worry, we won't. 546 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,280 Your name won't be on it at all. 547 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,080 Thanks for the stories! Wait, what did you say? 548 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,000 Gallant out! Come back! Hey! 549 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,040 HE GROANS 550 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,200 That guy... 551 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,320 It's Monday morning and headteacher, Ruth Thomas, 552 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,480 has had to find a replacement for French teacher, Mrs Morton, 553 00:21:56,480 --> 00:22:00,880 who insists on using French time and always leaves an hour early. 554 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:04,120 Welcome to Historical Educating. 555 00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:05,440 I'm so excited. 556 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,160 Class 7F are going to be taught 557 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,440 by one of my all-time favourite authors. 558 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:12,360 He wrote The Hobbit... 559 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,440 ..and The Lord Of The Rings. 560 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,560 He's also a professor of literature and language... 561 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,040 ..at Oxford University. 562 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,240 So French ought to be no problem... 563 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:23,840 ..or pas de probleme... 564 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:24,880 ..as they say. 565 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,280 Class 7F's new French teacher is JRR Tolkien. 566 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,720 Good morning, class. 567 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,960 My name is John Ronald Reuel Tolkien, 568 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,920 JRR Tolkien, 569 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,560 but you can call me...Mr Tolkien. 570 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,880 ALL: Bonjour Monsieur Tolkien. 571 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,480 Bonjour? 572 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,800 They're French! 573 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,360 I'm not teaching them! 574 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:46,960 Mrs Thomas, a word! 575 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,440 I can't stand the French! 576 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,200 Mr Tolkien, perhaps you should have mentioned 577 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,040 your feelings about the French 578 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,240 before you agreed to do a French class. 579 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,200 It's fine! 580 00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,800 I'll just teach them Elvish instead. 581 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,320 One of the languages I invented. 582 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:02,640 STAMMERING: Mr Tolkien, 583 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,560 there isn't a GCSE Elvish! 584 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:09,040 So, who here speaks Elvish? 585 00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:13,040 No? Khuzdul, the language of the dwarves?! 586 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,120 Conversational Goblin?! 587 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:16,840 Ah, good. What's your name? 588 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,320 Jean-Claude. Is that a French name? 589 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:20,480 Uh, maybe. 590 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:21,640 DESCENDING WHISTLE 591 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,800 JRR GROWLS 592 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:26,680 Mr Tolkien, what are you doing?! 593 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:27,800 I'm sorry, 594 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:31,120 but I've never forgiven the French for giving us William the Conqueror! 595 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:33,320 HE ROARS, STUDENTS SCREAM 596 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,680 I always wished he had finished his sequel to Lord Of The Rings. 597 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,240 It was called The New Shadow. 598 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,560 Such a brilliant mind. 599 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,200 Stop saying bonjour! 600 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,400 Do excuse me. 601 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:45,960 Mr Tolkien, a word! 602 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,920 It was a joke! 603 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,360 I chased my neighbour dressed as an Anglo-Saxon warrior 604 00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:52,840 and he was fine about it! 605 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,520 I'm afraid I've already found your replacement. 606 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,560 HE SCOFFS And his CV... 607 00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,560 ..is just as impressive as yours. 608 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:00,640 CS Lewis? 609 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,400 He wrote The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. 610 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,200 Hello, Tolkien. CS. 611 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:05,640 JRR. BOTH: BOOM! 612 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,160 Wait, you two know each other? 613 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:08,720 Yeah, we're bezzie mates. 614 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,800 We're in a book club called The Inklings together. 615 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:12,760 Yeah, I've actually got your bear suit in the car 616 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,520 if you want to drive straight to the party? 617 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,640 Ooh! Right, out! Both of you, out! 618 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,760 Bear boys! Woo! 619 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:19,960 SHE EXHALES SHARPLY 620 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,040 Here's my final outfit, 621 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:20,560 The Rat in the Hat. 622 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,640 And as far as this show goes, 623 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:23,960 that is that. 624 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:29,080 We've seen how brilliant books can be, 625 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:34,920 and you've spent some time with him and me. 626 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,240 To have Rosie here has been a treat. 627 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:41,000 Aw, thanks, Rattus, 628 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,600 that's really sweet. 629 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:46,880 Yeah. But now it's time to say so long. 630 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,920 I'll miss you, Rattus, 631 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,320 but not your pong. 632 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,200 RATTUS TRUMPS SQUEAKILY Hmm, there. 633 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,800 BASS GUITAR PLAYS 634 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:57,880 Shh! 635 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,920 find them throughout history 636 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,880 or stories full of mystery 637 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,240 to a whole new world 638 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,520 639 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,360 Follow Alice into Wonderland 640 00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:15,080 but he was really a man 641 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,560 a professor who wrote books on maths 642 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:20,160 643 00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:22,600 644 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:24,520 645 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,280 to Neverland's shores 646 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,160 want to meet some munchkins 647 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,800 got its name from some drawers 648 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,680 let it take flight 649 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,560 in your bedroom 650 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:41,800 or learn to train your dragon 651 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,640 a book for you... 652 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,680 ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYS BRIDGE 653 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,840 SNARE ROLL BUILDS 654 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,680 you can read about almost anything 655 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,720 who eats every single thing 656 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,120 almost named Willi Worm 657 00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:01,480 658 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,240 introduce you to a brand-new place 659 00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,200 starring Moonface 660 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:10,320 cos she wrote 10,000 words in a day 661 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,560 well, they could take you 662 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,400 The Worst Witch isn't scary 663 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,080 if you like magic schools 664 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:22,200 Pippi Longstocking 665 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,880 the grown-ups look like fools 666 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,640 will make the time fly by 667 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,640 a fighter pilot and a spy? 668 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,840 to glass elevators 669 00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,960 670 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,680 671 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,720 somewhere you never go 672 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,480 673 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:48,240 674 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,120 wimpy kid's diary will charm you 675 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:53,760 is sure to make you laugh 676 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,920 try a Mary Norton 677 00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:59,480 make themselves at home 678 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,400 give you a few frights 679 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,400 will shine its magic on you 680 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,560 this is really lorey 681 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:12,320